U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
