Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize
