Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
