Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
