help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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