I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
