Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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