I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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