it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
