mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
