Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
