This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
