so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
