i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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