someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
