I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
