but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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