Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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