Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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