I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
