Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize