how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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