The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
