shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
