Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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