i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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