I look better un-naked...
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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