...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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