So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
