We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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