Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
