My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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