first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
