I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just had sex on a roof
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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