she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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