let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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