Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
