Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
