I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
do herpes really smell.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
