Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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