Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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