Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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