the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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