Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
