i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
