As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
