So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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