There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
