i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
my liver is dry heaving
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
