I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
