Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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