my mouth tastes like poor choices
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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