the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
