hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
