I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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