Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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