What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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