Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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