dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize