You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
