yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
