That's when you crack a 10am beer
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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