No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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