My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
