I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
