I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
