5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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