Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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