I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
